One more round, Tommy, one more round

Okay, let me dispense with the sorry details:

• I'm past 39.
• I weight 268.
• Instead of a six-pack, I've got a pony keg.
• My feet hurt, my knees ache, and I'm in worse shape than the fat kid in Full Metal Jacket.

I could go on about how I used to be in better shape, but that's a little like taking my head and using Photoshop to attach it to the body of Fabio. Now is now, and now...I am fat and out of shape.

So why should you care about my pathetic condition? Because I am about to completely transform myself. I have decided to get down to 208, the highest acceptable weight in the eyes of the U. S. Marine Corps for someone of my height. I have also decided to build my stamina and chisel my physique so that the 50-year-old Jason Hunt would put the 20-year-old Jason Hunt to shame. And kick his ass, to boot.

So how am I going to do it? Good question. I'm going to follow the old adage: "Go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you'll be able to see a little further." In other words, all I have is my Phase One.

Here's what Phase One entails:

• Weight Watchers for Men online (a new-fangled way to watch calories and eat a healthy, well-balanced diet)
• Roadwork to Marine Corps cadences (I've got marching and running cadences on the iPod)

I'll keep you posted on my progress. If you've got some pounds to drop, I hope I can provide a little inspiration. If you don't, perhaps I'll provide a little entertainment.

Either way, buy something from the ads, and you just might provide me with a little extra dough. :-)